Do you ever feel stuck? I know I did for a very long time.
Perhaps you don’t have the job you want, or the relationship, or the financial situation. You probably know what it is that you don’t want, but have you ever taken the time to figure out what it is that you do want? Getting clear on what you DO WANT is paramount to getting it!
Rather than answer with generalities like a job that “pays more” or “is closer to home” or “to find your soulmate” or “to be rich”, think about being as specific as possible. What does your ideal life really look like? What would you need in your life for it to be more fulfilling and meaningful?
To put it in a slightly different light, if you win the lottery tomorrow and suddenly, you’re a multimillionaire, what will you do with the rest of your life? Will you continue working at your job? Will you spend more time with your family or travel the world? Will you start your own business or spend more time with your hobbies?
Take some time to dream about the possibilities. Then, take out a piece of paper and write down your dream in vivid detail.
Now, take a few moments to write down a list of the things that are most important to you in your life. What gets you out of bed in the morning? What things are most important in your life? These are the things you are willing to devote time and energy to each day. They can be things like:
- Family
- Friends
- Faith/ Spirituality
- Personal growth
- Having a Healthy Lifestyle
- Having your finances in order
- Work/life balance
- Maintaining a loving relationship with your significant other
- Being happy at work
- Being organised and using time wisely
- Participating in the hobbies you enjoy
- Making a difference in the world
Setting priorities is important because we often have so much going on in our lives at once that we lose track of who we are and what we want out of life. We end up putting out one fire only to be confronted with yet another that takes its place. With so many things on our plate at once, it’s easy to neglect ourselves, friends and family.
When you are finished writing your list, take a few moments to prioritise them on a scale starting with “1” as the most important. Finally, take a few moments to think about these questions:
- What am I most passionate about?
- What would inspire me to get out of bed at 5AM on a Saturday morning?
- What haven’t I experienced yet that I’ve always wanted to?
- What haven’t I given yet that I’ve always wanted to?
- What haven’t I learned yet that I’ve always wanted to?
- What part of me haven’t I healed yet that I still need to?
- Am I doing now what I really want to do?
- If not, do I even know what I’d really like to do?
- What can I do to serve others?
Write down the answers in your paper. These should be your honest answers – not what you should do or that others expect you to do. Once you’ve done this exercise, combine all your answers into a life’s purpose statement. Your purpose statement will answer the question “Why am I here? What is my true calling in life?” You get to define yours, so what do you want to do with your life?
Go back to your piece of paper and write “My purpose in life is…” Then, just write. Spend some time reflecting on your dreams, priorities, and the questions listed above.
Next, think of the ways you can use your passions and dreams to serve the world. Write down the following statement, “I will make the world a better place by…” and your answers.
Get all of your ideas down on paper. This will probably take you at least 10 minutes, though it could take hours. Write until you feel you have some clarity about your life. Then, go back and read the content. Is it powerful for you? Is it a wake up call? If not, keep writing until you find something that’s profound for you.
When you do define your life’s purpose, it will be an emotional experience. You will look at what you wrote and have one of those mind blowing “why didn’t I think of that before?” revelations.
Even if your statements aren’t very impressive to others, what matters is that you find them 100% accurate and relevant, and they have emotional significance to you.
The Secret To Living A Life Of Purpose
Researchers believe that developing a sense of purpose can enhance a person’s life immensely. The basis for their theory comes from various studies carried out over decades that studied the effects of happiness and having a sense of purpose on health outcomes.
These studies found that those who had a sense of purpose in addition to happiness displayed better physical and health outcomes than people who experienced happiness alone.
There are also studies that not doing what you love is one of the contributors to depression.
So what is needed to develop a sense of purpose? There are many ways to accomplish this and what works best for you may vary. But here are a few ways you can develop a sense of purpose:
- Helping others in your community, within a family setting, through a job, or on a wider basis.
- Being recognised and valued for your contribution. This also implies being valued by yourself!
- Being respected by others.
- Having a sense of identity or finding your tribe.
- Recognising a sense of achievement from what you do.
Having a purpose helps to build confidence and self esteem. People who lack purpose are often unhappy and lonely. An example of this could be the person who has retired from a career that gave her life purpose. She may have lots of time on her hands and be involved in a range of recreational activities but remain unfulfilled as there is no sense of purpose anymore. Involvement in these pursuits simply helps to fill her day.
How often have you thought about what you would buy or the problems that may be solved by a lottery win? Yes, we have all dreamt about this and there is nothing wrong with having dreams.They can open up our minds to possibilities and sometimes lead us to pursuing goals and a course of action in their pursuit.
Yet, how often do we hear about people who have had this stroke of luck and discover that their lives are not necessarily enhanced in any meaningful way by this, or are even worse because of it. Headlines in the local press have told us about the families who have broken up after winning money. People who have quit their jobs and gone on shopping sprees and drinking binges. People who long for the company of others who are not solely interested in them for what they get. The world, in our eyes, may be their oyster but what they may find diminished is a sense of challenge.
There is some truth in the saying that if you have to work hard for something you will appreciate it more.Sometimes the achievement itself is not the most rewarding aspect, but the process involved in its acquisition.
What provides someone with a sense of purpose will vary from person to person. For some it may simply be taking care of another close to them. Others may choose to travel, get involved in regular exercise, or in learning something new. The options are limitless. Whichever you choose, your commitment to this will also benefit you by keeping your mind active. When you do one of these activities the chances are that you will also be more optimistic and hopeful as a person. Having something important to aim for encourages people to be less likely to give up when things go wrong and to look for any learning opportunity instead.
Having a sense of purpose tends to make people more involved in taking care of themselves. They will pay attention to their health. Involvement with other people means that they are less lonely and that they also have other people around for support. Peers can also be useful for giving you feedback and helping you see things about yourself which may otherwise go unnoticed.
